I just can't..

Sometimes you want to scream at everyone. Sometimes you want to take a risk, date someone nobody ever expected you to. Sometimes you want to die. Sometimes your life turns to shit and you want to run away and go to Brewer and never deal with anyone at GHS ever again in your whole fucking life… Sometimes, that “Sometimes” is today.

I can’t handle it anymore. I can’t stand being around all these people. They all hurt me. I sound like a depressed, dramatic, little bitch, but it’s true. No one helps me anymore. No one tries to. If they really wanted to, they wouldn’t stop “trying” to after I said “Whatever.” If they really wanted to, they’d do everything in their power to make me listen and help myself.

I’m not happy. I’m never happy, not truly happy at least. I always want to cry, and I never want to smile. Yes, you can control some things in your life, but not everything. And sometimes, you lose hope in so much, that you really just stop caring. You stop trying, because there’s nothing that can help. Whenever I am happy, on the off chance, something, something fucking ruins it. I can’t stay happy for more than a couple hours, because it gets ruined, no matter what I do. And I can’t help that.

I can’t do this anymore. Everyone “understands.” Everyone “tries” to help. Everyone this, everyone that. I…I just can’t…I can’t handle this anymore. I’m losing everyone, it’s my fault, and I don’t care. That’s the sad part, I’ve completely stopped caring. Let me lose all my friends, I’ll be better off, I promise.