I Am the Opposite.

People tell me, "Just be you." Well.. How am I supposed to be me, if I don't know who I am? That's the part they don't think about. Everyone else has their life more organized than I do, even if it's just a little bit. At least.. Most of the people I know, know who they are. If you tell them, "Just be you." They'll say okay. But me, I don't know how to reply. I don't know how to react, or what to do. I have no idea who I am, other than the fact that my name is Miya Celeste Wright, and I'd rather go by Taya at this point.
I'm surprised I don't do well in Theatre, considering for the past few years, that's all I've been doing.. Acting. I'm not "Me," like I said, I don't even know who "Me" is. I've just been acting like "Miya." Acting like her, dressing like her, talking, thinking, walking, sitting, sleeping, like Her. Not like me. Even one of my friends that I've known my whole life has gone so far to tell me that I'm not myself anymore. I've changed.. I used to be so much juvenile. So much more innocent, sweet, carefree..
I guess that's just what life does to you.. When you have to raise yourself, and when you get bullied, and when you're the complete opposite of society's idea of "normal" and "pretty" and all that bullshit. 
I'm pansexual, and wow, that just blasts me off the charts of unacceptable in some situations, itself. I'm converting to Buddhism, and I don't believe in God. I'm one of those girls who can't fit in a label, I want purple hair, but I like wearing "preppy" clothes sometimes. I'm "not afraid to be myself," AKA, I'm not afraid to be weird as hell in public. I have so many mental disorders, including Multiple Personality Disorder, so it's so hard to actually find out who I really am. 
I thought I was an ROTC girl. I thought I'd love growing my hair out, letting it be natural. I thought I'd love everything about ROTC(mostly), and I'd continue doing it through my senior year. Now it's just kind of.. Eh. I don't like almost any of the classes I picked.. They just don't feel right. Then again, neither does the opposite.
I guess that is who I am then.. A free spirit. I am Miya, and Taya. I'm the girl everyone calls "emo," but I'm also the girl that everyone, well.. Doesn't. I'm the complete and total opposite of how society would like me to be, and I love it. I represent a lot in my life. Freedom, energy, knowing. I guess I'm just.. "That crazy, short girl," or at least.. That's the closest thing it comes to.